share the unshared

I have hundreds of photos in my phone of moments shared together with my babies. So many of these go unshared because as a woman I’m so critical of how I look - my pigmentation exaggerated by pregnancy and breastfeeding, the crooked tooth, unwashed clothes, dirty from little hands reaching out for a comforting hug.

What I’ve come to realise is that our children, our friends, and our families won’t remember the way we looked, and instead will remember how we made them feel. We’ll remember the joy we shared in these moments. And I remind myself that when I’m old and my babies are grown, it’s not the perfectly curated pictures that I’ll cherish the most. It is those that reflect the raw and real moments of motherhood. And I’ll yearn for the days that were hard AND wonderful, full of tears AND full of laughter, the days that go to plan and the days that don’t.

It’s these images that will serve as the most powerful reminder of how perfectly imperfect motherhood is meant to be. 

- Kelsi

The joys of motherhood are the funny moments my son gives me! Recently my 3-year-old boy walked in as I was putting on a panty liner. He ran straight to me and shouted, 'Mummy, you have a nappy like me!' Of course, it only got better when he told the lovely checkout lady at the shops, 'Mummy wears nappies like me!'

- Maddy

After a day at the beach - sun and saltwater.

- Mel

This photo was taken in the thick of it—three babies in two and a half years, and not a spare moment to myself. I used to look at this and see the tired eyes, the same ponytail I’d recycled all week, and the mystery stains. But now I see how deeply we needed each other in that moment—how loved and safe they felt, piled on top of me. It’s unsharable only because it’s so raw and real… and also because I’m pretty sure someone had just weed on me.

- Charlene

She has supported me throughout my beauty career, and has always been my biggest cheerleader - letting me do her makeup for any occasion when I was learning. She was also my model multiple times during beauty school, enduring the pain of bikini waxing, hot stones, and facial peels! 

- Emma

I'd just broken my neck and it was the hardest thing I've had to go through as a parent. Not being able to play games with them, walk with them or even pick them up was really rough. Despite pain meds making me feel sick and the eventual depression that came with being immobile, I put on a smile for the kids and they always knew how to cheer me up. We got through it together!

- Annette

This picture was taken just minutes after swimming at a waterfall in Flores, Indonesia. I look like crap. Pasty skin, coffee-stained teeth, mascara adrift. Not to mention the hair. The beauty is in the look my son is giving me. He sees none of that. He's not thinking, 'Oh, she looks a bit rough' or 'She's let herself go'. That look is pure love for his mum. I'm lucky enough to be her and lucky enough to travel with him.

- Elizabeth

It’s not the best photo, but it’s our first photo together.

- Helen

Me and Cody (my now 19 year old son) at the peak of his non sleeping and colic (you can see by the dark circles under my eyes). He was so unsettled that I couldn’t even have a shower on my own but we are happy here getting some skin on skin time with each other.

- Nicky

It’s their first time too. I’d always understood this phrase as a reminder to offer grace to our loved ones and understand that they sometimes don’t know it all—although I’d never felt it applied to my own relationship with my mum.

This image is from a 60km hike I dragged her on. It’s such a special memory; I got to experience something for the first time with my best friend. My mum sacrificed her 20’s and 30’s to raising two daughters and making us feel like she does know it all. In my eyes, she knew what life would hold and swanned through it with ease.

Getting to experience something for the first time with her gave me a new perspective and greater admiration for who she is. She wasn’t born knowing it all, but she’s determined to push through the hard, yucky stuff, even if that’s 10 hours of hiking for 6 days straight, to ensure her children always feel loved, guided and supported.

- Molly

This image was taken a few days after the premature birth of my twins. I never posted it because I'm bloated and discoloured from a difficult pregnancy with severe pre-eclampsia. I had to cut my hair because it was falling out. I have no makeup on. So what? Look what I MADE! Two perfect creatures that are a testament to my female body and its ability to give life - two lives at once!

- Abbey

My parents recently visited me and it was their first time in New Zealand. It was nice to have a break and share this experience together, especially after losing my grandmother at the end of last year. The last year in particular caused a lot of worry and stress for my mum, as she was taking care of my grandmother. This photo is from a mud bath and spa experience at Hell's Gate Geothermal Reserve, which was lots of fun and was probably the relaxing time we needed together.

- Marion